Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dollar Menu Challenge: The McDouble

After tax it's 1.06. The dime's for emphasis.

The McDouble has for me, as with all stoners, a special place of my heart.  Bun, 2 slices of cheese, 2 patties, mustard, ketchup, onions and pickles have been put together for your stoned bliss.  But could this be the best $1 burger?

 High Thought: Have you ever noticed that all of the faces on the coins are facing left but Lincoln is facing right?

Without further adieu I present: The McDouble!
Cost: $1.00, $1.06 with tax

Taste: 9/10 it's meaty and, cheezy. Plus the onions, pickle, and mustard give it a good bite.
Texture: 9/10 soft, easy to bite and chew, and consistent.
Preparation: 8/10 all the necessary parts are there and it was well assembled. Easy to hold in one hand while holding a J in the other.
Appearance: 6/10 The McDouble is a thing of beauty, but it's not a visual beauty.

Overall: I'd give this an 8/10 for the Dollar Menu Challenge.

Guess what I found in the clearance section of my Acme grocery store! The new official 420 No Money apron!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

TIMBER!!!! Fallout Dinner.

Today I went for a killer bike ride.  Like... I thought I might die biking up these Chester County hills.  So when I staggered back into my apartment today I needed something that would fill me- pronto.  Unfortunately I didn't really seem to have anything that was both, fast, delicious, and easy on hand- so I made something.

The other week I saw a recipe for eggs cooked in a spicy, middle eastern style tomato sauce.  That sounds a little beyond my capacities at the moment.  This is what I did instead:

Middle East Fallout:

2 cups pasta sauce
3 eggs
Hot Sauce
Your Favorite Spices

1.) Heat the pasta sauce, spices, and (optional) Parmesan cheese to bubbling in a frying pan.
2.) When the pasta sauce boils crack the eggs into the pan.
3.) Beat one of the eggs into the sauce and leave the others to cook.
4.) Put two slices of bread into the toaster.
5.) put cooked eggs and sauce onto the toast and ENJOY! It's soo gooey and delicious.


Add some of that cooked rice you know you have in the fridge to the eggy mix. I threw a slice of cheddar in for good measure.  

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Bacon Vodka!

This is the ultimate drink.  I just made my first batch tonight and it's completely awesome.
1 package of bacon.
2 cups of vodka
Jar with lid

1.) Heat up a pan to medium high.
2.) Throw on the bacon.
3.) Cook till the bacon is firm, but not burned.
4.) Tear up the bacon into little pieces and put them in the jar.
5.) Pour vodka over the bacon.
6.)Hide this in a closet for 3 weeks.

This is what it looks like after you shake it!
3 Weeks Later:
1.) Take out the vodka from the closet.
2.) Put it in the freezer.
3.) When the fat has separated pull it out with a fork.

I'll post pics of the finished product when it's ready!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Spicy Peanut Ramen

This is the best Pad Thai of your life. It is also the easiest, and the cheapest.  Like the name suggests, you only need 3 ingredients for this fabulous recipe.

I take this bad boy to work with me in it's three separate parts and make it on my lunch break.  My office manager is totally jealous. Look at that bowl full of hot, spicy, love.  Also, admire the super hot  table cloth my office put up the day after New Years.

Spicy Peanut Ramen:
1 packet ramen noodles
2 tbs chunky peanut butter
.5-1tsp hot sauce

1) Boil 1.5 cups of water on the stove.
2) Toss the ramen noodle block into the water.  THROW OUT THE SEASONING PACKET!
3) Cook for 3 minutes. Turn the stove down to 3.
4) Add peanut butter and hot sauce
5) Keep the ramen on the stove till it's creamy.

If this meal doesn't change your life, I don't know what will. This meal sustained me through college, hard days on the farm, and many, many stoned evenings where I just needed a decent meal.

This is all there should be left over from this meal.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Can-Can Chicken

I couldn't find a picture of the meal, so instead is a picture of me wearing a hat. Probably after hanging out with Juan.

This is Can-Can Chicken.   Can-Can chicken is a fantastic example of simple ingenuity... and rice.  Mad shout-out to my man Mike who gave me this recipe just for the blog.  One love.

Can-Can Chicken:
1 can condensed chicken soup
1 can condensed celery soup
1 can Chicken

1) Turn the stove on medium-high
2) Pour the two cans of soup and the chicken into the pan.
3) Pour one can-full of water into the pan.
4)Stir up the soup untill it's mixed together.
5) When the soup boils add 1-2 cups of rice.
6) Cook it for 20 minutes, stirring if you remember.
7) take it off the heat and eat that bad boy up.

Tastes like chicken.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Power of Rice

Rice is amazing.  Rice will save your stoned, broke, ass from starving.  Rice is sold BY THE POUND, and you should buy as much of it as you can afford. Right now.
 Rice is also the easiest thing ever to cook.  Here's how it works...

1c. Rice
2c. Water

1.)Put the water on the stove, turn it up high.
2.)When the water boils stir in the rice.
3.)Turn down the heat to medium-high and put a cover on the pot if you have it.  Set a timer for 20 minutes.
4.)Go smoke a bowl. Occasionally stir the rice, if you remember.
5.)When the timer goes off you should have minimal water left.  Take the rice off the stove.

TA DA! Now you're stoned and have a big ol' pot of rice.  This can be eaten alone (if you're desperate), or added to meals, or as the focal point of meals.

Here are a few simple rice meals:

Cheesy Salsa Rice:
1 cup cooked rice
1/4 cup salsa
1 slice cheese
Put all 3 ingredients into a bowl and microwave for 1 minute.  Stir and enjoy.

Rice and Beans (A la Chef Swagger):
2c Rice
1 can  beans

When your rice is done cooking pour the entire contents of a can of your favorite beans over them.  Stir, add salt and pepper to taste, and enjoy.

Rice and Beans (A la 420 No Money):
2c Rice
1c Chilli Beans
Hot Sauce
Italian Spices
When your rice is freshly cooked add as much or as little hot sauce as you want.  Then add a tea spoon of dried Italian Herbs (fresh ground from a grinder is best).  Pour the chilli beans and all of their chilli seasoning onto the herbed rice.  Eat it while it's hot.

Basic Fried Rice:
2 cups cooked and cooled rice
1 tbsp oil
3 cap-fulls of soy sauce
2 cap-fulls of vinegar
Let the rice sit in the refrigerator till it's cold.  Then heat up 1tbsp of oil in a skillet.  Throw the cold rice into the hot oil and stir, baby, stir.  When the rice is browning add the vinegar and soy sauce.  Continue to stir until everything is blended.  Take off the heat and enjoy.
Add extra 

The thing about rice is that it can make any small meal into a huge meal.  If you have some left over stir fry from the Chinese joint on the other side of town, add rice to it, it'll feed you for two meals.  Got some soup? Add rice to it to make it last twice as long and fill you twice as much.  Rice is basically the cheap ass stoner's best friend.

Saturday, February 4, 2012


If you've seen this, you will be hungry.
          So, you're broke, you're stoned, and you're hungry.  I feel you.  I've been there.  You need some good, hearty, cheesy, sweet, delicious munchies right now.  I feel you.  Lets make sure you have the funds necessary to make a couple quick meals.

          Believe it or not, this will feed you three squares a day.  It'll also make some awesome munchies.  I recommend going to Wal-Mart because their food is hands-down the cheapest.  I buy a can of beans there for $.30 cheaper than at the "real grocery store".  The dollar store also works, but watch out, they might not have everything you need.

You know you're feeling this.
2lb bag of rice $2.19
1can Chilli Beans $1.15
1can Kidney Beans $.85
1grinder of Mixed Italian Herbs $5.98
1loaf Bread $2.12
1bottle Pasta Sauce $2.15
1box of Pasta $1.20
12 pack Kraft Singles $2.99
1stick Butter $.99

Total: $19.62
Take that extra 38 cents and put it in your spare change fund.

If you can't figure it out already, this first stock of the shelves will include a lot of carbohydrates and no meat.  That's okay. Carbs are cheap, meat is not.  Plus, hippie chicks love vegetarians.  If you have NOTHING in the closet this is the shopping list you need to fill out.

Hippie chicks loooooove vegetarians.